Couples Therapy in Seven Words
with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander
with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and
Judy Alexander
with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander
with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and
Judy Alexander
Real conversations about couples therapy, intimacy, conflict, and connection — hosted by Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander.
New episodes released weekly.
This podcast grows out of two things: decades of clinical experience — and a relationship that actually works.
Bruce brings his work as a couples therapist and author of several books on relationships, drawing on years of helping partners navigate intimacy, conflict, desire, and the ordinary struggles of long-term love. Judy, from her decades of experience as a teacher and principal, brings something just as essential: the grounded perspective of a thoughtful, curious “real person.” When Bruce starts to nerd out, Judy brings the conversation back to what it means in everyday life.
What listeners often notice first, though, is our chemistry. We laugh. We disagree. We genuinely enjoy each other. Without setting out to model anything, we end up demonstrating the kind of warmth, respect, and emotional flexibility many couples are working toward.
Our conversations explore ideas from Bruce’s therapy practice and writing, along with insights from fascinating guests — authors, practitioners, and thought leaders from around the world. But we always return to lived experience: the complicated, funny, deeply human reality of relationships.
Dr. Bruce Chalmer has spent decades sitting with couples in some of the most tender, difficult, and transformative moments of their lives. As a licensed psychologist specializing in couples therapy, he has helped partners untangle conflict, rediscover desire, and build relationships that feel both honest and alive.
He is the author of several books on relationships, where he explores the beautiful complexities and paradoxes that shape intimacy and long-term love. On the podcast, Bruce brings the same curiosity and depth he brings to his therapy work — occasionally with a touch of unapologetic nerdiness.
Learn more about Bruce’s practice
Explore Bruce’s books and video courses
Subscribe to Dr. Chalmer’s list and get a free relationship clarity check (5-10 minute exercise)
Judy Alexander spent many years as a teacher and principal, guiding students, families, and educators through the everyday complexities of human connection. Her instinct for clarity and her gift for asking the question beneath the question are central to the podcast’s voice.
When Bruce drifts into theory, Judy brings the conversation back to lived experience — and often to laughter. Her warmth and directness help keep the dialogue grounded, practical, and unmistakably human.
Judy is also the author (under her pseudonym Laria Zylber) of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible, a creative project that reflects her long-standing interest in desire, storytelling, and the emotional depth of intimate life.
Learn more about The Blue Tent
Early in Bruce’s couples therapy practice, he began searching for a simple way to describe what the work was really about. Over time, it distilled into seven words:
Be kind,
don’t panic,
and have faith.
“Be kind” means more than simply being nice. It means recognizing kinship, even in moments of hurt or frustration.
“Don’t panic” means learning to tolerate the discomfort of emotional honesty, rather than avoiding it.
“Have faith” means trusting that life and its uncertainties are meaningful, even when you’re struggling.
Bruce wrote about this framework in his first book, Reigniting the Spark, and when the book was published, the podcast grew naturally out of those conversations. He expanded on these ideas in his subsequent books and video courses.
New conversations released weekly — exploring intimacy, conflict, desire, and connection.
Prefer video? Watch full episodes on Bruce’s YouTube channel.
New episodes every week—subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.